Thinking Aloud

I'm in a bit of a state. I've just been to Thursday morning Mass at church, and bumped into a friend there - she is a bit older than we are and has three grown up children and one laat lammetijie who is 13. Last month she was attacked in her home by four men, at one o clock in the afternoon, as she was sitting in her living room waiting for her youngest daughter to be dropped home from school by the lift club. She was tied up, and had the ropes tightened three times. She was beaten, and was told that, after they had ransacked the house, they were coming back to rape her. She was petrified that her daughter was going to walk in any minute... In a miracle she got one hand free and was able to hit the panic button, which frightened the intruders away, just before her daughter got home.

She is now "better", she says, although still terrified of being in her house, even of driving into her driveway.

Whats happened to her is a part of my worst nightmare. My children are tiny and are with me almost all the time. How on God's green earth would I protect them in a situation like that? And if I were killed, who would be there to even try to save them? I can't bear it.

I know there is crime everywhere, I'm not stupid. But I have never heard of an experience like this one from the lips of a friend in the UK. I don't know anyone over there whose mother was hijacked at gunpoint, like mine was here.

My husband is a realist and points out that there are four of us and it is his responsiblity to ensure we are kept housed and fed wherever we are. Certainly until Nicky is old enough for me to go back to work. There is a major economic downturn and property is not moving... except that I know someone, a mom from Top Tots heading for Canada, whose house sold in a week... I know we probably couldn't take our animals and would therefore have to put Campbell down because he won't rehome. I feel like I can't bear this either, but perhaps I can. Or perhaps there is a third way, such as taking him to Europe for six months and then getting him a pet passport.

I've been saying for a while that I want to look at the options and see what the move back would entail. I'm actually going to do it this time. And if anyone wants to accuse me of taking the chicken run, or overreacting, or betraying South Africa, well, unless they have two small children and are in their home alone with them during the days, or in and out the car with them, or unless they have seen the look on someone's face as she recounts being threatened with rape and knowing her beautiful teenage daughter is about to walk in, well, then you can just bugger right off.